WHEN GOOD PEOPLE MAKE BAD MOVIES: MY BOSS'S DAUGHTER

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Looking through the bent-back tulips to see how the other half lives, I made the mistake of stopping the channel on My Boss's Daughter.  Ecch.  Perhaps this should be titled, "How the once mighty have fallen" in honor of David Zucker, but apparently he's back on track what with the great success of Scary Movie 3 and all, and the now endless sequels to that in sight.  (Scary Movie 3, part 2?)  The supporting cast is quite eclectic, mostly SNL alums past and future.  And of course Carmen Electra, but even that facet of the film still can't balance out the leaden weight of the lazy slapstick, offensive jokes and sub-par script, which, most reviews make a point to mention were written by the guy what did Anger Management, so why break precedent?  I want to be in favor of a superfluous, light-weight comedy as much as the next guy, but this just isn't it.  Quite the opposite, it's been argued.  Although the owl looked like it was having a good time.  It had problems with the screenplay, but you know how it is.  Parts for owls are rare enough as it is, and it seems they always have to play the dignified roles as in Harry Potter.  Not to mention being replaced by CG(I) and puppetry.

Suggestion: the next film party you go to, try this line out if you dare: "My Boss's Daughter wasn't Patrick Crenshaw's best work.  You want to see a film in which he really shines?  Try Old School.  Director's cut, preferably."

As for being a date movie, or a paean to finding true love in the heat of slapstick, who can say.  But if pulling down a man's pants in a room full of strangers gets you a job higher up in his company, maybe there's hope for world peace after all.  Today's promotion could be tomorrow's layoff, however.  Live by the pants, die by the pants, as they say.  But back to the premise of this article for a change.  As one of my crazy friends once said, "John Gielgud is this great actor, but what is he going to be remembered for?  Being the butler in 'Arthur'."  Sadly for Terence Stamp, "My Boss's Daughter" is not his "Arthur".  Nope, he's gotta make another one of these turkeys to get that kind of recognition, heh heh.  Something that Leslie Nielsen didn't turn down, for starters.

The Big Finale: Alas, they haven't yet found a way not to have one, and this outing is no exception.  It involves having to expose Terence Stamp's behind, and I guess he actually did it, unless it was a stunt butt.  You gotta admit, the guy's been taking care of himself!  Let's just say it was done more tastefully than Problem Child, but maybe not as dramatically as the first Ace Ventura, but maybe that's just me.  Besides, you get two for one here in that department.  And of course, in honor of the painstaking care that went into the script, I would be remiss to leave out the fact that they use ass rash ointment as a ruse for the impending de-pants-ings.

End Credits Sequence: A sentimental semi-outtake reel that tries to counter the whole wacky tone of the film.  What's that all about?  Doesn't instill feelings of confidence in Ashton's and Tara's budding romance, anyway.  Brittany Murphy's gonna give Tara Reid a good bitch-slapping one of these days.

I'm really the wrong age to be reviewing this film.  It's more for teenage boys, of course, but even teenage boys' patience may be tested by this.  The casting, for example: who but Ashton and Tara is there for them to care about?  Might've been better suited for Jamie Kennedy, but I have no way of knowing what drives the teenager demographic these days.  However, this I do know: in this day and age of a second Bush Administration, no matter how much they seem to embrace the Community College community, the sooner that kids learn the shortcuts up the Corporate Ladder, the better.

Good double bill with: Baseketball

Other Terence Stamp films: The Hit, The Limey, Priscilla, hell, Superman 2!

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-so sayeth the Movie Hooligan

(c)2004 Bulk Entertainment

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